Monthly Archives: November 2011

Mario Balotelli’s Career Highlights

Balotelli’s career highlights so
far

1.
Showing middle finger to Inter
fans
while he was at Inter

. 2.
Telling
Juventus fans to “Get lost”
during a Juve vs Inter match.

3.
Calling Jose Mourinho a dickhead during
a training session

4
. Appearing
on the Italian TV show
Striscia la Notizia wearing an A.C.
Milan
jersey, while he was at Inter

5.
Driving
into a women’s prison in Italy

6.
Within
days of joining Manchester City, he
was involved in a car crash

7.
Once Balotelli was carrying £5000
cash to which a police officer
queried
why with Balotelli replying:
“Because I
am rich”

8.
Confronting a bully in a
school after querying why a
young City fan was not
at school

9.
giving £1000 to a
homeless
man on
the streets of Manchester

10.
Throwing
darts at youth players as
a “Prank”

11
. Failing to wear a bib

12.
Scoring his 1st and 2nd City
goals
and getting sent off in the same
match

13.
(After winning the golden boy
award) Reporter : What do you
think
about Jack Wilshere? Balotelli :
Jack
who? I don’t know who he is.
Maybe I’ll keep an eye on him
when we play against Arsenal.

14.
Claiming that the only player who
is
slightly better than him is Lionel
Messi.
Otherwise he’s the best in this
world.

15.
Putting his own house on fire
by lighting up fire crackers in
bathroom

16
. Displaying his now famous
“Why
always me?” shirt.

17
. Going on a
date
with a pornstar
while his girlfriend was out of the
country

19.
Epic celebration after
scoring a goal
against Newcastle.

20.
Getting
sent off
against Liverpool
and then damaging the door of
Liverpool’s dressing room…….

😀 Is he a Fool or a Unique
Character?

Odu Oluwafemi Daniel

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LOVE…

I thought you should see this:
…A TOUCHING LOVE STORY …….by Reuben kelechi

*10TH GRADE:-
As I sat there in English class,I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called ‘best friend’.I stared at her long, silky hair,and wished she was
mine. But she didn’t notice me like that,and I knew it. After class,she walked
up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before. i handed
them to her, she said thanks and gave me a kiss on the cheek. i want to tell her,
I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friends,I love her but I’m just too
shy,and I don’t know why.

*11TH GRADE:-
The phone rang. On the
other end,it was her. She was in tears,mumbling on and on about how
her love had broke her heart, she asked me to come over because she didn’t
want to be alone, So I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes,
wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barry more movie,and three bags
of chips,she decided to go home. She looked at me, said ‘thanks’ and gave me a kiss on the cheek..I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don’t want to be
just friends,I love her but I’m just too shy,and I don’t know why.

*SENIOR YEAR:-
One fine day she walked to my locker.”My date is sick” she said,”he’s
not gonna go” well,I didn’t have a date, and in 7th grade,we made a promise
that if neither of us had dates,we would go together just as ‘best friends’.So we
did. That night, after everything was over,I was standing at her front
doorstep. i stared at her as She smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal
eyes. Then she said- “I had the best time, thanks!”and gave me a kiss on the
cheek. I want to tell her,I want her to know that I don’t want to be just
friends,I love her but I’m just too shy,and I don’t know why.

* GRADUATION:-
A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was
graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage
to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn’t notice me like that,
and I knew it. Before everyone went home,she came to me in her smock and
hat,and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and
said- ‘you’re my best friend,thanks’ and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to
tell her,I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friends,I love her but I’m
just too shy,and I don’t know why.

*MARRIAGE:-
Now I sit in the pews of the
church that girl is getting married now, and drive off to her new
life,married to another man. i wanted her to be mine,but she didn’t see me
like that,and I knew it. But before she drove away,she came to me and said
‘you came !’.She said ‘thanks’ and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her,I
want her to know that I don’t want to be just friends,I love her but I’m just too
shy,and I don’t know why.

* DEATH:
-Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my
‘best friend’.At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high
school years. This is what it read:’I stare at him wishing he was mine,but he
doesn’t notice me like that,and I know it. I want to tell him,I want him to know
that I don’t want to be just friends,I love him but I’m just too shy,and I don’t know
why. I wish he would tell me he loved me !’I wish I did too…’I thought to my
self, and I cried.

N.B:- this goes out to the young and shy folks of this era, no matter how numb and nerdy you are, never allow something you cherish the most slip
through your finger tips. Opportunity lost can never be regained.

Odu Oluwafemi Daniel

Laff Out Loud!!!!!!

Here Я̩̥‎​ some rib-cracking Naija jokes…hope y’all love em

(1)

A Lagosian pastor and his driver died in a car crash and went to heaven.  Both of them were welcomed. The angel on duty showed the driver a 3-storey duplex of pure gold and said “this is your mansion”.  He showed the pastor a small wooden shed and said “this is your dwelling place!”

The pastor was confused.  “I don’t understand”, he said. “Why should my driver get a golden duplex while all I get this wooden shed for eternity.  I have been a faithful preacher for several years.”

The angel replied, “when you preached, people slept.  But whenever your driver drove, people cried to God!”

( 2)

Clarus went to Mama Put’s shop and ordered 3 bottles of Ogogoro.  He drank them one after the other.  Day after day, he repeated the ritual.  He would order three bottles of the strong drink, and empty them one after the other.

One day Mama Put became curious and asked him why he did that.  “You see, I have two brothers.  One  is now in Australia and the other is in England. We made a pact that we will remember one another when we drink.”

Sometime later, he came into the bar and ordered only two bottles of Ogogoro.  Mama Put felt that something was wrong.  “I am sorry to see that you have lost one of your brothers.”.

“No,” he said, “I still have two brothers.”

“Then why do you order only two bottles?”

“You see,” Clarus explained, “recently my wife took me to a crusade.  To the glory of God, I have decided to stop drinking.”

(3)

.A man was driving his taxi from Port harcourt to lagos. He had a sticker in the car that said ”He will give his angels charge over me”
By the time time he got to warri, he was doing 135km/h. The passengers cautioned him, but he simply responded by saying…”don’t you see the sign?, the angels are on guard”. He approached Benin on a speed of 185km/h. By this time the passengers got very nervous and decided to get down. Everybody except the driver disembarked and he decided to continue the journey to lagos alone. ”Mumu faithless people…they don’t believe that angels are on guard, despite my sticker”…he said, as he drove on.
Nearing Ore, he was comfortably cruising at 215km/h…when he heard people in his car shoulting….”abeg oga drop us o..we no dey go again”…puzzled, he looked around…”sebi I dropped all my passengers in Benin..so na who dey talk?”
”Oga, drop us o..na we be the angels wey dey on guard…this one don become suicide mission we no dey guard again ooo!!!”

Needless to say, our man drove into lagos with a reasonable speed of 35km/hr.

(4)

A man dies and goes to hell.

There he finds that there is a different hell for each country and decides
he’ll pick the least painful to spend his eternity.

He goes to Germany hell & asks, “what do they do here?” He is told “first they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day”.

The man does not like the sound of that at all so he moves on.

He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more.

He discovers that they are all similar to the German hell.  Then he comes to the Nigerian hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in … Amazed, he asks, “What do they do here?”

He is told “first they put you in an electric chair for an hour, then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour.  The Nigerian devil comes in & whips you for the rest of the day.”

“But that is exactly the same as all the other hells.  Why are there so many
people waiting to get in?” asks the man.

“Because there is never any electricity so the electric chair does not work.  The nails were paid for but never supplied, so the bed is comfortable to sleep on.  And the Nigerian devil used to be a civil servant, so he comes in, signs his time sheet and goes back home for private business

(5)

In a small southern town, Billy Joe shows up at the doctor’s office at 2:00 p.m. one Sunday afternoon with several bruises on his face.
The doctor says, “Another barroom brawl, eh Billy Joe?”

“No!” answers Billy Joe. “This happened in church!”

“In church? What happened?” asks the doctor.

Billy Joe says, “Well, I went to church and sat in the pew. Then a real big fat woman sits in the pew in front of me. We get up to sing, and I see that her dress is stuck up the crack of her butt, so I pulled it out for her. Then she whopped me with her purse.”

The doctor treats his wounds and warns him not to do that again.

A week later, on Sunday afternoon, Billy Joe is back at the doctor’s office, bruised worse than before. The doctor said, “Now this must have come from your friends at the bar, right Billy Joe?”

Billy Joe looks sadly into the doctor’s eyes and cries, “No! No! This happened in church again!” Extremely puzzled, the doctor asks for the explanation.

Billy Joe says, “I went to church and sat in the pew. My friend John Boy comes in and sits down next to me. Then comes this same big fat woman again, and she sits in the pew in front of us. We get up to sing, and her dress is stuck up the back of her butt again.”

The doctor says, “Oh no, Billy. You didn’t pull it out again! Didn’t you learn your lesson last week?”

“No, no, Doc, I didn’t pull it out,” replies Billy Joe. “John Bob did. And knowing how much she doesn’t like that, I tried to push it back in for her!”

(6)

Princess was in a restaurant yesterday when she suddenly realized she desperately needed to fart(Mess). The music was really, rea…lly loud, so she timed her gas with the beat of the music. After a couple of songs, she felt better. She finished her lunch & noticed that everybody was staring at her…. Then she suddenly remembered that she was listening to her i-Pod

Odu Oluwafemi Daniel

never give up…YES U CAN!!!!

MTN came to Nigeria at a time when nobody wanted
to invest in Nigeria, at a time when Nigerians did not
have phones. Even Zenith Bank refused to loan MTN
cash to operate, UBA rejected MTN’s offer but today
see the difference. At least we all know the story of the only civilian
unelected President in Nigeria – Goodluck Jonathan.
We know how the people said he was not going to
be President; they even made him acting-President.
Today the rest is history. What about Cowbell? When they came to Nigeria,
they made milk in a sachet, Peak was laughing at
them- they said Cowbell was milk for the poor- but
they were right! 3-million poor people could afford
N10 a day for a sachet of milk. Oya, do the math –
3million people buying milk at N10.00- that was N30million every single day. In a month they grossed
N900million (almost N1billion). Even Peak had to
make sachet milk in order to survive in the market. So what have people told you? What have they said
you cannot do, or you do not qualify for, or you do
not have experience for? They told Cowbell, they told
Goodluck, they told MTN, but today the story has
changed. I have a feeling something is changing for you today!
They will change their strategies just to keep in step
with you. Don’t listen to what people are saying or
what life is showing you… YES, YOU CAN ! Do have a Positive Day… Success is not about where
you graduated from, but what graduates out of you.
Keep the spirit.

Odu Oluwafemi Daniel

there is no time to waste time….beware!!!!!

Hi my dear friends, my name is Rosemary Tony-Ayoko. My heavenly Father asked ♍ƺ to share this with you, its not just an ordinary broadcast message, please read through.

THE 2nd COMING OF CHRIST
dreamt dt  got engaged in a serious fight, απϑ while we were busy raining abusive words on each other, suddenly i saw cars colliding in2 each other (multiple accident). left the fight scene απϑ went to a window to see what was happening… It was RAPTURE… The 2nd coming of Christ απϑ had just missed it. God opened my  to see those that were already caught up in ð̀́ clouds απϑ those dt were just being caught up, απϑ tot to myself “♓☺w wld survive the 3 απϑ half years of torture by the anti-christ”. Suddenly found myself on the bed απϑ discovered that even my husband απϑ 2children didn’t make it. Then  woke up, first of all checked to be sure it had not truely happened απϑ did not miss it,  then narrated this dream to my husband,checked the time, it was 4.00am(25th November, 2011).
While we were praying, God reminded ♍ƺ he had earlier woken ♍ƺ up to pray απϑ  disobeyed απϑ said “Later” (who promised you there would be tomorrow). Let us lay aside every sin that easily beset us (disobedience, un forgiveness, fornication, adultery etc) His coming is at hand. If you have not asked him to come into U̶̲̥̅̊r life, NOW is the  to ask JESUS CHRIST to be U̶̲̥̅̊r LORD απϑ SAVIOUR, απϑ for doz of us dt already know him, this indeed is a wake up call, that it is almost for his return. Please spread this message,don’t keep it to urself. God help us απϑ keep us RAPTURABLE.
The Lord works in mysterious ways. Who knows whose life u might be saving with this.
God bless! Enjoy ur weekend!({})

Odu Oluwafemi Daniel